I really love mornings, I love the idea of waking up early and going for walks . Walks give me a chance to think, to allow my brain to present creative ideas, to reinforce the idea that the good moral side of my brain is in control of my whole body of work. When I can get in this state, it’s when I feel the most spiritual, the closest to my creator, who I credited for all the things he has brought into my life regardless ow whether I perceive them as bad or good. I say him but truly the creator is neither man or woman, he is just a spiritual being.
Mornings give me the feeling of “ a new beginning” a do-over of the prior days sins, a chance to start anew. A pep talk to say, “Come on Bill let’s do a little better today”. I am always thankful of having a morning to wake up to, as with all of life, one morning will be my last morning, I just don’t have a date on that yet.
I guess those who suffer with depression or thoughts of suicide, then their date becomes more of certain, a thing they can control until the end but for me, I will be left guessing until the end.
Getting up in the morning gives me a high, a sense of wonderment, and an appreciation for what God has created. It’s this vision of appreciation when I can see what God has created around.
During my earlier years, when I was working, I remember waiting on a traffic light and viewing people walking on the sidewalk or jogging in a park, and and feeling so jealous.
How I wish I was in their shoes instead of the working shoes I was wearing. Jealous of the this perceived freedom they had with their time whereas my time was committed by the need to earn money.
How somebody else was expecting me at a certain place at a certain time.
Now here I am at 65 and I am the person walking on the foot path, with the perceived notion that I can do whatever I want with my time.
And I see the cars during the morning rush hour dashing to work, and I wondered if there is a driver there looking at me with the same feeling of jealousy that I had.
All I can say is hang in there, and I will pray that your time too will come.